I Need A Tan

Boy do I wish I had one of those airbrush tanning machines in my bathroom.  This warm weather has me wanting to wear shorts, but I'm white as a ghost.  I'm so white I'm afraid to go out of my house like that because I don't want to blind anyone from my paleness!  I don't do tanning beds.  My fair skin does nothing but turn tomato red and go right back to my normal paleness after a few days.  Maybe I'll sneak off to get an airbrush tan sometime this weekend, but we'll have to see if time allows it.