I know in my last post I was bitching about how cold it has been, but today my eyes have been opened to a new issue. Today is warm...not just warm...perfect! 84 degrees is just about right for me. Of course Hubby being the man who sweats in 40 degrees swears we must have entered hell (as he swears this time every year). Being that I am THE woman who complains about cold chills in the middle of the summer, this weather is quite nice.
Unfortunately it has reminded me of something I'd rather not think about...that dreaded little piece of cloth we refer to as the swimsuit. Ok so maybe finding out that I can't fit my thighs into last season's shorts that were a perfect fit has something to do with that. Either way, it is now something that will haunt me until I either lose 20 lbs or cold weather arrives once again.
I know love the person on the inside and all that, but I admit I'm very insecure when it comes to the outside like many other women out there. I will not sit here typing that I am fat because frankly I don't believe I am. Insecurity comes in many forms, and in me it is the fact that even though I am not fat I am no longer the girl I was 10 years ago who could eat anything without worrying about how it would change my body.
A few years ago when I started to gain weight I would laugh it off. I would tell people "I'm not worried about it right now. I'm in the baby years that are going to change my body anyway. I'll worry about it after I have children." Apparently I was lying to myself through my teeth.
I've mentioned many times before that I need to lose a few pounds or I'd like to start working out again, but not once have I believed myself when I've said it. All the talk about diet pills and weight loss have been nothing but more lies to myself. I'd say it, then I'd tell myself I'd worry about it later because I don't need it right now.
Pulling out your summer wardrobe only to realize most of it doesn't fit anymore can completely change a person's perspective. Now I'm ready to do something about it. I'm going to start by getting my butt off this couch and taking a nice long walk.